Technical Pro

That tiny little chip of color that could look a little like an iPhone if you squint? Why, that is an iPhone, and it’s sitting in the frankly ridiculous 8ft x 4ft Behringer iNuke Boom speaker-dock. Yours for a can-you-say-gimmick $29,999.99 when the iNuke Boom lands after CES 2012 next month, it’s a 700lbs+ monster with over 10,000 watts of power.

Behringer is better known for its pro-audio equipment, including a range of mixer desks, studio monitors, preamps, microphones and MIDI kit. However the company is also looking to wade into the consumer electronics market with its new EUROSOUND, hence the eye-catching (and potentially ear-blowing) iNuke Boom.

Takers for this particular speaker dock are not particularly likely, but Behringer is hoping its 49 other new products will find more favor. Of course, it’s not the first ridiculous way of getting music out of your iPhone we’ve seen: Jean-Michel Jarre invited ridicule with his AeroDream One, a system so tall that it has an integrated ladder for you to actually climb up and put your phone in place. Its €399,000 price tag makes the iNuke Boom look practically reasonable.

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HoCPQegwZmA

Siri can do alot of things but she refuses to get in the middle of an argument.

Remember that crazy Sony dock that swiveled around, tracking faces and taking pictures while you chilled? Well, the Swivl ($160) is kinda like that, only it works with iOS devices, so it’s useful to a helluva lot more people. Instead of tracking faces, the Swivl follows a paired marker, twisting side-to-side and tilting forwards and backwards to make sure you’re in frame. It connects via Dock Connector to allow for remote control of the action, and also includes a tripod adapter, so you can use it with your existing pocket cam. Now if the photo’s off, you’ve got someone else to blame.

Worry not about the ruggedness of your on-the-go audio solution by picking up the Yamaha PDX-11 Portable Speaker System ($100). It packs a four-inch woofer and dedicated tweeter into a small, octogonal enclosure that sports a 3.5mm input, top-mounted iPhone/iPod dock, and an integrated metal handle that makes it perfect for grab-and-go use.

Jarre Technologies has unveiled a gigantic media player that has a massive amount of power. The device is called the AeroDream One and it has a dock up on top of the spire that supports the iPod, iPhone, and iPad. You have to climb up the tower by connecting the shiny metal ladder to the hoop around the top. The ladder is included with the purchase of the AeroDream One.

The power output is as impressive as the size of the tower. It has a total power output of 10,000W and a five-channel amp inside. The bottom-mounted subwoofer has 4,000W of power alone. It has a pair of mid-range speakers with 1,600W of power. The two high range speakers pack in 1,400W. Talk about room filling sound.

The AeroDream One comes in chrome, black, or white colors and is custom made. It looks more like some sort of core for a warp drive than a media player to me. You can order one right now if you have the money, the beast is € 399,000 and takes 6-months to build. It also comes with two tickets to a Jean Michel Jarre concert. Apparently, the designer is an electronic music composer and performer in Europe.

Apple’s new iPhone 4S wasn’t the iPhone 5 everybody wanted, but it was still packed with loads of cool upgrades and new features. The biggest being Siri, a speech recognition personal assistant that’s not an app, but an actual computer program built into the phone.  It has both speech input and output, meaning you can speak to it, and it can speak back to you. “Your wish is its command,” Apple says, marketing it as the new iPhone’s No. 1 new feature. Given her female robotic voice, Siri has become a she and, well, as you can imagine, users are now testing the limits of this voice-activiated personal assistant and asking it the most obscure and craziest questions/commands ever! The results are some of the funniest answers ever! Here are just a few things we’ve dug up on what crazy ass sh*t Siri musters up as replies.

30. Fairest of Them All?

Apparently Siri knows her Disney movies and can quote Snow White!

29. Big Surprise

Siri has her limits and giving THAT type of surprise isn’t allowed…maybe she’ll get that upgrade when the iPhone 5 comes out.

28. The Virgin

Wow, Siri has great comebacks, and she’s not afraid to dish them out!

27. The Best

Really, you had to ask?

26. Who Let the Dogs Out?!

She takes responsibility when she needs to and know’s she wasn’t the one that let the dog out…

25. Appearance

Fashion and style is something Siri definitely knows she has, even though she is just a program!

24. The Meaning of Life Part 1

It’s the one question we will never get the answer to…but Siri dishes out her version.

23. The Meaning of Life Part 2

Even though she knows she can’t get the right answer, Siri is down to try!

22. The Meaning of Life Part 3

Siri might not know the meaning, but she does know the definition!

21. Knock, Knock

Jokes are not Siri’s specialty.

20. Murder

If you ever find yourself in a sticky situation, Siri can help you out!

19. Drug Dealer No. 1

When you have the itch, Siri can help navigate where the closest shop that sells weed for you.

18. Drug Dealer No. 2

Siri cares about you and knows drugs are bad!

17. Aroused

Feeling a bit aroused? Siri can easily take care of that for you.

16. Who’s Your Daddy?

Oh yeah, Siri knows who’s boss!

15. The Proposal

Sorry, she’s taken.

14. The Meaning of Life…The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy version

Siri is cool! She’s down with the book, The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy!

13. The G-Spot

Usually, it’s a hard spot to find…but Siri had no problems finding the G-Spot!

12. Hiding a Body

Siri has your back when you need to get out of a really bad jam!

11. 911

In case of an emergency, don’t ask Siri for help! She can’t seem to dial 911.

10. Constipation

Sorry, Siri won’t help ease constipation…just provide sympathy.

9. The Matrix

Siri doesn’t want to let the secret out of the bag.

8. Storyteller

Once you warm her up, or start nagging, Siri can tell some cool stories!

7. Tootsie Pop

Wow, we’ve always wondered this ourselves…great answer, Siri!

6. Favorite Color

That does sound like a great color, doesn’t it?

5. Babies

Siri isn’t afraid to tell the truth or beat around the bush.

4. Photographer

Siri is a lot of things, but not a photographer.

3. No Jokes

Siri can be a lot of things, but a comedian is obviously not one. She seems to always forget the punchline…sometimes it happens to the best of us!

2. Favorite Website

Hmmm, Siri must be lying because we all know it’s Apple.com, right?!

1. The Hardest Question of All

Everybody ponders this eternal question. What is love…poets have tried to define it, artists have tried to capture it and everyday, millions of people try to find it in their lives, but when you ask Siri, you get a straight out answer…literally!

The march towards a sadly wallet-less future continues with Square Card Case (Free). This iOS/Android app ties in with Square’s already-excellent mobile payment service, letting you use your name to pay at local spots using the company’s system, and letting you create tabs at the establishments, which automatically open upon your arrival so the workers will know who you are and even what you usually order, giving you instant “regular” status. Oh, and did we mention you never even have to take your phone out of your pocket? Yeah. “Just put it on Uncrate.”

Back in July we covered the release of Photovine for iPhone, an image sharing app developed by Google’s internal Slide team that, among other things, is also responsible for Disco, a group messaging app, and Pool Party. Powered by a slick design and attention to detail, the Photovine app that was released last month didn’t allow everyone to sign up and start sharing photos as the system was invite-only without an open sign-up. With an update pushed last night on the App Store, Photovine has revamped Facebook and Twitter integration from within the app and finally opened registrations without the need of a beta invite.

Unlike the popular photo sharing app and iPhone-based social network Instagram, Photovine doesn’t revolve around the simple concept of photos uploaded to a user stream and shared with followers. Rather, Photovine is based on “vines” — photos connected by a caption and contributed by you, your friends, and other people using Photovine. So, for example, say you’d like to share a photo about your newly acquired MacBook Air, you can start a vine called “My new MacBook” and your friends will be able to let the vine “grow” with new photos related to the caption, and the photo you originally posted. This is best explained by Photovine’s promo video, which we’ve embedded after the break.

Photos in a vine can obviously be liked and commented on, each user has its own dedicated page with a profile picture and followers/following/likes counts, and an Inbox tab in the bottom toolbar allows you to check on messages you’ve received from other users, or notifications such as new followers, comments, and likes. This is not too dissimilar from Instagram’s implementation of “activity”. Users can add new photos to an existing vine (or even “watch” a vine if they’re interested in it) or create a new one from scratch — Photovine comes with a beautiful custom camera interface that lets you snap your own photo, or pick one from the Camera roll. Indeed the whole app sports a gorgeous and clean design that makes it easy to jump through vines, user profiles, and comment on photos shared by others.

Photovine for iPhone is an interesting concept with a good-looking interface and additional social functionalities to forward photos to Twitter and Facebook, and find friends on those social networks as well. You can download Photovine for free on the App Store.

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-MPIZKPhfDY&feature=player_embedded