Technical Pro

My Other Bags Are Prada… 100% Organic Cotton Oversize Tote bag.

Made from 100% pure organic cotton this beautifully made oversize tote will fit all of  that extra stuff we need day to day! Stylish with a sense of humour it is also durable, environmentally friendly and will last a lifetime; the perfect plastic bag alternative.

43cm high

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HoCPQegwZmA

Siri can do alot of things but she refuses to get in the middle of an argument.

Apple’s new iPhone 4S wasn’t the iPhone 5 everybody wanted, but it was still packed with loads of cool upgrades and new features. The biggest being Siri, a speech recognition personal assistant that’s not an app, but an actual computer program built into the phone.  It has both speech input and output, meaning you can speak to it, and it can speak back to you. “your wish is its command,” Apple says, marketing it as the new iPhone’s No. 1 new feature. Given her female robotic voice, Siri has become a she and, well, as you can imagine, users are now testing the limits of this voice-activiated personal assistant and asking it the most obscure and craziest questions/commands ever! The results are some of the funniest answers ever! Here are just a few things we’ve dug up on what crazy ass sh*t Siri musters up as replies.

30. Fairest of Them All?

Apparently Siri knows her Disney movies and can quote Snow White!

29. Big Surprise

Siri has her limits and giving THAT type of surprise isn’t allowed…maybe she’ll get that upgrade when the iPhone 5 comes out.

28. The Virgin

Wow, Siri has great comebacks, and she’s not afraid to dish them out!

27. The best

Really, you had to ask?

26. Who Let the Dogs Out?!

She takes responsibility when she needs to and know’s she wasn’t the one that let the dog out…

25. Appearance

Fashion and style is something Siri definitely knows she has, even though she is just a program!

24. The Meaning of Life Part 1

It’s the one question we will never get the answer to…but Siri dishes out her version.

23. The Meaning of Life Part 2

Even though she knows she can’t get the right answer, Siri is down to try!

22. The Meaning of Life Part 3

Siri might not know the meaning, but she does know the definition!

21. Knock, Knock

Jokes are not Siri’s specialty.

20. Murder

If you ever find yourself in a sticky situation, Siri can help you out!

19. Drug Dealer No. 1

When you have the itch, Siri can help navigate where the closest shop that sells weed for you.

18. Drug Dealer No. 2

Siri cares about you and knows drugs are bad!

17. Aroused

Feeling a bit aroused? Siri can easily take care of that for you.

16. Who’s Your Daddy?

Oh yeah, Siri knows who’s boss!

15. The Proposal

Sorry, she’s taken.

14. The Meaning of Life…The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy version

Siri is cool! She’s down with the book, The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy!

13. The G-Spot

Usually, it’s a hard spot to find…but Siri had no problems finding the G-Spot!

12. Hiding a Body

Siri has your back when you need to get out of a really bad jam!

11. 911

In case of an emergency, don’t ask Siri for help! She can’t seem to dial 911.

10. Constipation

Sorry, Siri won’t help ease constipation…just provide sympathy.

9. The Matrix

Siri doesn’t want to let the secret out of the bag.

8. Storyteller

Once you warm her up, or start nagging, Siri can tell some cool stories!

7. Tootsie Pop

Wow, we’ve always wondered this ourselves…great answer, Siri!

6. Favorite color

That does sound like a great color, doesn’t it?

5. Babies

Siri isn’t afraid to tell the truth or beat around the bush.

4. Photographer

Siri is a lot of things, but not a photographer.

3. No Jokes

Siri can be a lot of things, but a comedian is obviously not one. She seems to always forget the punchline…sometimes it happens to the best of us!

2. Favorite Website

Hmmm, Siri must be lying because we all know it’s Apple.com, right?!

1. The Hardest Question of All

Everybody ponders this eternal question. What is love…poets have tried to define it, artists have tried to capture it and everyday, millions of people try to find it in their lives, but when you ask Siri, you get a straight out answer…literally!

A musical break-up over video chat. WIN the Rhettward Photo signed by us! Info here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aQm8u_0we94 Make YOUR cover of this song a video response here!

 

LYRICS:
It’s not you; it’s me.
and me don’t like you.
It’s not you; it’s I.
And I’m breaking up with you.

You swore up and down the wall
Twilight’s the best trilogy of all
Somehow you got me to agree
To dress up like Edward for Halloween.
But now that I’m coming clean
first off, Twilight’s a quadrilogy.
And that tan werewolf dude isn’t worthy.
Of removing – a Wookie’s Dingleberries.

It’s not me; it’s you.
Yeah, the more I think about it- it’s definitely you.
But it might be me
Cause me decided to date you.

When we went out on our first date
You said you don’t eat anything with a face.
Then for the next 18 months
I ate sausage made from rice and walnuts.
Now that we’re parting ways
Newflash! Fish have a face.
Unless it’s in a Newton, No! He doesn’t want another fig!
Tonight I’m eating…a Rabbi-veni-turducken-ig.

It’s you; It’s you.
No doubt about it- it was always totally you.
Now it’s up to me
And me is now dumping you.

 

song A Day #1019 http://www.jonathanmann.net

Songatron, my App: http://itunes.apple.com/us/app/songatron-musical-mad-libs/id385609331?mt=8

Download this song: http://jonathanmann.bandcamp.com/track/a-duet-with-siri-iphone-4s-song

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Funny Facebook & Twitter statuses are a great way to brighten up your social networking profile page. If you are looking for Facebook Status then your search ends here, you have landed on the right page. This article is all about very funny Facebook status messages that have been written by real people. You will find here all Funniest Facebook Status, just read the full collection of the funny facebook statuses.

 

• decided to burn lots of calories today so I set a fat kid on fire!
• One day your prince will come. Mine just took a wrong turn, got lost and too stubborn to ask for directions.
• When someone rings the doorbell, why do dogs always assume it’s for them?
• I speak my mind. I never mind what I speak.
• sometimes, not remembering mey be the better.
• X says my computer just beat me at chess…but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
• X is color blind and trying to solve a rubiks cube… This could take a while.
• X is the girl next door…if you live next door to a whore house.
• What is fat, ginger and pregnant? Nothing..
• slept like a baby last night…. Waking up every 3 hours crying for food.
• wanted to kill the sexiest person alive…But suicide’s a crime.
• X is proud of herself. She finished a jigsaw puzzle in 6 months and the box said 2-4 years.
• People say that love is in every corner……gosh! maybe i’m moving in circles..
• Why is a newspaper ten times more interesting when somebody across the table is reading it?
• Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you’re a mile away and you have their shoes.
• WARNING: Objects in mirror are fatter than they appear.
• ║▌║█║▌║▌││║▌║█║▌│║▌║█║▌║▌││║▌║ *ZAP* *BEEP* Price: $7.95
• Dear Santa, let me explain…
• I think my girlfriend has had sixty-one boyfriends before me. She calls me her sixty second lover.
• My wife said I’m too immature and if I don’t grow up it’s going to erect a barrier between us. Ha ha ha, erect.
• If guys had periods, they’d brag about the size of their tampons.
• Make love, not war. Hell, do both. Get married.
• Marriage is a sort of friendship recognized by the police.
• Statistically, 132% of all people exaggerate.
• Statistically 5/4 of people have trouble with fractions.
• ٩(•̮̮̃•̃)۶ ٩(-̮̮̃-̃)۶ ٩(●̮̮̃•̃)۶ ٩(͡๏̯͡๏)۶ ٩(-̮̮̃•̃)۶
• _̴ı̴̴̡̡̡ ̡͌l̡̡̡ ̡͌l̡*̡̡ ̴̡ı̴̴̡ ̡̡͡|̲̲̲͡͡͡ ̲▫̲͡ ̲̲̲͡͡π̲̲͡͡ ̲̲͡▫̲̲͡͡ ̲|̡̡̡ ̡ ̴̡ı̴̡̡ ̡͌l̡̡̡
• if only life came with a ◄◄ REW ► PLAY ▌▌PAUSE █▌STOP
• scratch here ▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒ to reveal today’s status.
• ̿̿̿ ̿’ ̿’̵͇̿̿з=(•̪●)=ε/̵͇̿̿/’̿’̿ ̿ this is a stick-up… give me ALL yo [̲̅$̲̅(̲̅1̲̅)̲̅$̲̅]!
• Some people come into our lives & leave footprints on our hearts. Others come into our lives & make us wanna leave footprints on their face.
• The only place you find success before work is in the dictionary.
• Boys are like baby diapers when they get to be filled with shit they are thrown to be replaced.
• i’ve yet to meet a woman who got pregnant from swallowing.
• Cut here —————–✄———————-
• Me and my wife are inseparable. Sometimes, it takes three or four people to pull us apart.
• I speak my mind. I never mind what I speak.
• People who write diet books live off the fat of the land.
• Dance like no one’s going to put it on YouTube.
• Doctors waiting room needs some music. And better lighting. And more women. And a pole in the middle of the room. And a buffet.
• best Friends Listen to what you dont say.
• Just wanted to let you know that you are my BFBFF… Best Facebook Friend Forever..
• So many stupid people, and so few asteroids.
• X thinks that Facebook is the compost heap for my brain.
• Yes, I know how to shut up. I just don’t know when.
• You miss 100 percent of the shots u never take.
• Me and the gummy bears have a plot to rule the world but shhhhh its a secret.
• I use to be great at wordplay. Once a pun a time.
• Sometimes? Late at night? I rearrange traffic signs. People need to be challenged.
• I guess if you spoke your mind, you’d be speechless, huh?
• X thinks that 100-calorie packs have just enough cookies to piss me off!!
• Alcohol does NOT make you fat…it makes you lean…against tables,chairs,walls, floors and ….Ugly people!!!
• what has two ears and cant hear? —————–.> GRANDPA
• I’m not a racer….But i can fly.
• press the star below and watch it glow
• ▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒ click star then up arrow to left to reveal status.
• I thinks my neighbor just caught me stealing his Wi-Fi internet.
• Teaching your own mother how to use Facebook is like willingly signing your own death warrant.
• X is wondering why Facebook bothers to give the option of “liking” my own comment? Of course I like my own comments. I’m awesome..
• Every day, man is making bigger and better fool-proof things, and every day, nature is making bigger and better fools. So far, I think nature is winning.
• I swear my pillow could be a hairstylist I always wake up with the wierdest hairdos.
• X just received a coupon in the mail: buy one sock, get one free! While socks last.
• X believes that if you tell your boss what you really think of him, the truth will set you free.
• ¡ǝɯıʇ ǝɯɐs ǝɥʇ ʇɐ ʞooqǝɔɐɟ ǝsn puɐ puɐʇspuɐɥ ɐ op ʎןןɐuıɟ uɐɔ
• Smile, it’s the second best thing you can do with your lips.
• oh I’m sorry! i didn’t realise you were giving me a dirty look…i just thought you were ugly like that all the time!!
• wants to merge MySpace, Facebook, YouTube and Twitter and call it: MY FACE YOU TWIT.
• X says don’t look at me in that tone of voice.
• Is anyone going to put anything funny on here?????
• If women ruled the world there would be no wars. Just a bunch of jealous countries not talking to each Other.
• eat eat and eat….but don’t eat my brain.
• I married my wife for her looks. But not the ones she’s been giving me lately!
• a guy knocked on my door today asking for a donation for the local primary school’s pool. I went away and came back with a cup of water….. Is that wrong?
• ʎɐqǝ uo pɹɐoqʎǝʞ ɐ ʎnq ı ǝɯıʇ ʇsɐן ǝɥʇ sı sıɥʇ
• All men are born free and equal. If they go and get married, that’s their own fault.
• too cool for school.
• trying to think of clever things to say after inhaling from a helium balloon.
• the kid next door’s imaginary friend.
• –^v–^v–^v–^v-_____^v–^v–^v– For a second there, I was bored to death.
• definitely not watching what not to wear.
• forcing my dog to learn how to google.
• kissing a girl and may or may not be liking it.
• Got out of jury duty by prefacing every answer with “according to the prophecy”
• X is Loading ████████████ 99%
• Dont you find it Funny that after Monday(M) and Tuesday(T), the rest of the week says WTF?
• U have 10 Fish, 5 drown, 3 come back to life. How many fish do you have? Stop counting smart one. Fish cant Drown.
• X went to the book store earlier to buy a ‘Where’s Wally’ book. When I got there, I couldn’t find the book anywhere. Well played Wally, well played.
• Hi, my name is Damimeve. The ‘mime’ is silent.
• I’ve always wondered if film directors wake up screaming “CUT! CUT! CUUUUUT!” when they have nightmares.
• In an interview, “I can multitask housework with facebook!”
• X is coloring on your wall! ((̲̅ ̲̅(̲̅C̲̅r̲̅a̲̅y̲̅o̲̅l̲̲̅̅a̲̅( ̲̅̅((>
• never judges a book by its cover. She uses the paragraph on the back, it tells you what the story is about.
• a day late and a dollar short.
• Insert coin to view my status message.
• If somebody offers you a lifetime supply of candy and there is just one piece, don’t eat it: It’s probably poison.
• We have so much in common. You want to travel,I want you to go .
• happy that you finally broke up with that slut. Now I can tell you VIA facebook update that I boinked her.
• seen pictures of you naked on the internet.
• remembers the day when blackberry and apple were just fruit.
• > $20 in my bank acct. Drinks on you home.
• 20/20 hearing!

I know the world isn’t going 2 end in 2012 cuz my yogurt expires in 2013!

I like to name my ipod ‘Titanic’ so when it says ‘Syncing Titanic’ i click cancel and it makes me feel like a hero.

Whats the difference between Justin Bieber And a Snickers bar? A snIckers bar has nuts.

Hello everyone. Look at your status, now back to mine, now back to yours, now back to mine. Sadly, yours isn’t mine. But if you stopped posting about other things and made this your status, yours could be like mine. Look down, back up. Where are you? You’re on Facebook, reading the status your status could be like

Is wondering if you can grow marijuana on Farmville then sell it on Mafia Wars?

I love it when my computer says ” are you sure you want to continue unprotected ”

Roses are redish, Violets are blueish, if it weren’t for Christmas, we would all be Jewish!

why do we need school???
music~we have YouTube for that.
Spanish ~i watch Dora.
English ~everything is shortened anyway (brb,idk,lol).
geography~i will buy a globe.
history~they are all dead anyway.
math~that is why we have the calculator.
spelling~we have spell check on the computer.

People make the world go around but at some point don’t you wish it were flat so all the idiots would keep walking and never come back?

NEVER trust a man in a wheelchair with dirty shoes.

I love how, in scary movies, the person yells out, “Hello?” As if the bad guy is gonna be like, “Yeah, I`m in the kitchen! Want a sandwich?”

what’s the difference between puberty & a water bottle? a water bottle hit Justin Bieber first! (;

Going to McDonalds for salad is like going to a prostitute for a hug.

Roses are Red, Nuts are brown, Skirts go Up, Pants go Down, Body to Body, Skin to Skin, When it is Stiff, Stick it In, The Longer its In, The stronger it Gets, It goes in Dry, Comes out Wet, It comes out dripping,and it starts to Sag, Its not what you Think …its a Teabag xD

Mrs. Bin Laden just updated her Facebook status to single.

Sometimes your Knight in shinning armour is just an idiot wrapped in tinfoil.

We guys have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see us without an erection, make us a sandwich !

Me and my mom were shopping for new Cd’s and she asked me..
Mom: honey, Who’s your favorite artist?
Me: Eminem
Mom: The candy?
Me: no the rapper
Mom:What’s so special good about Candy Wrappers?

If 4 out of 5 people suffer from diarrehea…does that mean one person enjoys it?

status: I can’t log into facebook

A bug just landed on my computer screen and my first reaction was on try and scare it away with the curser

*BLOND GOES TO THE DOCTOR TO FIND OUT IF SHE IS PREGNENT*
Doctor: your pregnent
Blond: *smiles*
Doctor: your having twins
Blond: *crys*
Doctor: is’ant that good?
Blond: i dont know who the father is for the other baby
Doctor: LUCKY IM A BRUNETTE !!!!!!!

Your make-up looks so pretty:) lol jk it looks like a crayola raped your face!!!

My friends status said, “standing on the edge of a cliff :/”…so i poked him.

Have you ever looked at someone and thought to yourself “Dude, that’s the sperm that won???”

Sometimes i fill up my blow up doll with helium so its playing hard to get.

i know three facts about you, one you can’t say M without your lips touching, two your trying it now and you look like an idiot alien, three now your smiling

Sorry, Ke$ha the party dont stop till I walk in.

Last Night I Dreamt I was Eating A Giant Marshmallow……..When I Woke Up My Pillow Was Gone.

How much coke has Charlie Sheen done?……………enough to kill 2 1/2 men….

I love how justin bieber can hit high notes but not puberty!

Roses are red, violets are blue, a face like yours, belongs in the zoo, don’t be mad, i’ll be there, not in the cage, but laughing at you.

Relationships are like Tom & Jerry: They tease each other, knock down each other, irritate each other, but can’t live without each other.

I WISH i could be a status, so you could LIKE me .

I tried to log on to Facebook. It said, “Cookies are required to operate.” I thought to myself, “Me too, Facebook. Me too.”

Got into a fight with my alarm clock this morning it wanted me to wake up i disagreed now the alarms broken and im wide awake…not sure who won.

I just broke up with someone and the last thing she said to me was “You’ll never find anyone like me again!” I’m thinking, “I should hope not! If I don’t want you, why would I want someone like you.

A kid got bad marks in his test, he showed his test to his mom. His mom said ” what is this”? He answered teachers star stickers were finished so she gave me a full moon!!!

Please copy and paste this to your status if you know someone, or have been affected by someone who needs a punch in the face. People who need a punch in the face affect the lives of many. There is still no known cure for someone who deserves a punch in the face, except for a punch in the face. But we can still raise awareness!

One day a chicken croxed the road and met james bond and said whats your name?? ….bond james bond… whats yours??..ken chick ken!

Behind every great woman is a man looking at her ass!

Don’t ever laugh in the bathroom it will make people think ur playing with yourself

Don’t be subtle when you can buy this shirt and wear what you are thinking. Then, if your in-laws still don’t get the point you can just move without telling them.

http://www.tanga.com/products/if-we-threw-you-a-going-away-partywould-you-t-shirt